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DeterminedJay's Journal

The Life of a Med Student




November 27th, 2007

Felt a little inspiration

I know it's been a while but I was feeling inspired.  The following poem will tell what's going on in my life right about now:

Different Channels, Same Conclusion

Channel 3:  Ooh, this guy is real suave

Looking all GQ with those long, beautiful dredlocks

He’s kinda short but I’d be willing to try something different

Doing all this nice stuff for me, dang I think I finally truly love someone

He has his life together, even about to get his Ph.D.

Damn, old boy got it going on in more than one way

Soon it became clear this would just be a summer fling

He made sure to keep his distance but didn’t allow me to do the same

See, he was one of those “I’ll take advantage of this naïve heart” kinda men

My mistake was thinking that he would make it work and being so blind to all the warning signs

He didn’t want to make me his problem

Time to try a different channel.

Let’s try channel 4:  Damn this club is popping!

Getting my drink on and turn around to see this tall, immaculate looking man

He too damn fine for words!

I don’t think he’ll dance with me but hey, what harm is there in asking?

Next thing you know, I was head over hills for him and I felt the same from him

He loved how ambitious and successful I was

But passing that first red light was a mistake

We lived in two different stations and trust would soon become an issue

Both stayed in the relationship for all the wrong reasons

He was the “Pessimistic Negro” that was upset about everything going on in his life

My downfall was staying with someone who made it clear there was infidelity since I didn’t feel like anyone else would want me

He had too many other problems that he eventually became MY problems

What’s the next channel?

Channel 5 seem like it has something good on

Another club scene but more intimate

Wait, is that guy looking at me?  I think he is!

Only took one dance and he was already claiming that I was his

Here we go again—walking down love’s winding road

And once again, that road had some distance between us

He grabbed me and pulled me in without telling me all the minute details

But by the time the details began to unfold, I was in too deep

I ignored the child, the paranoia, the secret lifestyle

And allowed the relationship to take control of my life

So much that my family was distracted so had to tune into the same channel

His wires weren’t connected correctly though

He was one of those insecure kinda niggas

Lead to my biggest regret in life—thinking for ONE second that a nigga was worth ending my life for

He tried to be my top priority over any and everything else in my life

Let’s see what else is on TV.

Channel 7—this seems like something I saw before?

Wait, haven’t I met this guy before?  I think I have

But for some reason, this time he is looking REAL attractive to me

Don’t know what changed, but hey, I ain’t tripping

And he was NOT gonna let me get away that easily

After being so cold and distant through these past few episodes, he pulled me into HIS season of love with his charming and caring personality

All seemed too perfect to be true

Even was open about him to my mother from early on

But then there was some station restructuring which put us farther apart than we anticipated

And that’s when things became REALLY heated

Started to see a change in his demeanor towards me

He had so many other obligations and I started to move further down on that list

Soon enough, I was being given time after every other need was met

One of those “I have something more important to do” men

But see, I’m still tuned in to the channel figuring out if the love is strong enough to fight through it all

He’s made me his option while all the time he’s been my priority

All these channels have different cast members but the conclusions seem all too familiar

What will it take to rewrite the ending once and for all?

Guess you’ll have to tune in and see


August 13th, 2007

May 28th, 2007

Yes I'm alive

I know I haven't posted in like FOREVER but I've been busy studying for probably one of the biggest exams of my life--Step 1 of the Boards.  I'm sure I'll have LOTS to talk about afterwards since I go to NYC for a week right after I take the exam.  Until next time . . 

February 28th, 2007


table cellpadding=5><tr><td>
The Gentleman
Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMm)

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a prize in the eyes of many.

It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you're fundamentally sex-driven. You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

Your exact opposite:
The Last Man on Earth

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer
Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. He is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced. Avoid the The False Messiah at all fucking costs.

CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you.
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer The Slow Dancer The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Master The Gentleman The Maid of Honor
Deliberate Gentle Sex Dreamer The Backrubber The Intern
Deliberate Gentle Sex Master The Bachelor The Dirty Little Secret
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer The Mixed Messenger The Priss
Deliberate Brutal Love Master The False Messiah The Battleaxe
Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer The Billy Goat The Nymph
Deliberate Brutal Sex Master The 5-Night Stand The Stiletto
Random Gentle Love Dreamer The Boy Next Door The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Master The Loverboy The Peach
Random Gentle Sex Dreamer The Poolboy The Nurse
Random Gentle Sex Master The Playboy The Playstation
Random Brutal Love Dreamer The Manchild The Wild Rose
Random Brutal Love Master The Vapor Trail The Sudden Departure
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer The Last Man on Earth Half-Cocked
Random Brutal Sex Master The Hornivore Genghis Khunt

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.</td></tr></table>
I have fallen in LOVE with this poem so in honor of Black History Month (although it's the last day of the SHORT month, lol), I just wanted to share it for you all that may not have read it before:


Lord, Lord,
Why did You make me Black?
Why did You make me someone
The world wants to hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes;
The color of grimy hands and feet.
Black is the color of darkness;
The color of tire-beaten streets.

Why did you give me thick lips,
A broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did You make me someone
who receives the hatred stare?

Black is the color of a bruised eye,
When somebody gets hurt.
Black is the color of darkness.
Black is the color of dirt.
How come my bone structure's so thick;
my hips and cheeks are high?
How come my eyes are brown
and not the color of daylight sky?

Why do people think I`m useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do some people see my skin and think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don`t understand;
What is it about my skin?
Why do some people want to hate me
And not know the person within?

Black is what people are "listed",
When others want to keep them away.
Black is the color of shadows cast.
Black is the end of the day.

Lord, You know, my own people mistreat me;
And I know this just isn`t right.
They don`t like my hair or the way I look
They say I`m too dark or too darn light.

Lord, Don`t You think it`s time
For You to make a change?
Why don`t You re-do creation
And make everyone the same?

(God answered:)

Why did I make you black?
Why did I make you black?

Get off your knees and look around.
Tell Me, what do you see?
I didn`t make you in the image of darkness.
I made you in the Likeness of Me!

I made you the color of coal
From which beautiful diamonds are formed.
I made you the color of oil,
The black-gold that keeps people warm.

I made you from the rich, dark earth
That can grow the food you need.
Your color`s the same as the panther`s
Known for (HER) beauty and speed.

Your color`s the same as the Black stallion,
A majestic animal is he.
I didn`t make you in the Image of darkness, I made you in the Likeness of Me!

All the colors of a Heavenly Rainbow
Can be found throughout every nation;
And when all those colors were blended well,

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool
Such a humble, little creature is he.
I am the Shepherd who watches them.
I am the One who will watch over thee.

You are the color of midnight-sky,
I put the stars' glitter in your eyes.
There's a smile hidden behind your pain
That's the reason your cheeks are high.

You are the color of dark clouds formed
when I send My strongest weather.
I made your lips full so when you kiss
the one you love they will remember.

Your stare is strong; your bone structure, thick
to withstand the burdens of time.
The reflection you see in the mirror...
The Image looking back at you is MINE!

Author - Runett Nia Ebo

February 14th, 2007

Well, it's "lover's day" again and LOVE IS IN THE AIR!  Ewww!  I can't take it!!  It never fails that when Valentine's Day rolls around, I'm just reminded of my loneliness.  Don't get me wrong though . . it does NOT last long!  On a day like this, you just see all the chocolates and flowers getting exchanged and when you're single, you wonder "Am I not worthy?"  I believe it has only be ONE TIME I was trul with somoene in a relationship for Valentine's Day when I was in college.  I remember the guy gave me a "Build a Bear" with the birth certificate and a dozen roses.  It made me feel SOO SPECIAL and I vowed to keep both of them as a memory of me being happy for the FIRST time for Valentine's Day.  Well, that didn't last too long because as soon as I found out he was CHEATING on me, which was no less than like two weeks later, the bear was the first thing in the trash.  Oh well .  . so much for that.

But as I feel lonely for those few short moments of seeing people overtly showing their love, I think to myself "Why not be my own damn Valentine!!"  So later today, I'll politely go to the store and buy my OWN chocolates to go home and indulge in them while lounging on my sofa.  Over the past year, I have grown a new LOVE for myself.  My last relationship tore me down SO MUCH that I had to learn to care for and love myself all over again.  It was truly a learning lesson that I think I needed at this point in my life as I was not appreciating and loving myself enough.  The last year has made me a stronger and more confident person and I only have more room to grow.  With that being said, I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS THEIR VALENTINE'S DAY and IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYONE, LOVE YOURSELF!  IT'S DONE ME WELL!!

January 16th, 2007

You Go Jennifer Hudson

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I just had to come on here and say CONGRATULATIONS to Jennifer Hudson for taking home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress in a Film last night. I am SO PROUD of her and it is very nice to see some NEW TALENT make their way onto to scene. Jennifer is doing it REAL BIG and has been winning NUMEROUS awards for her portrayal of Effie in "Dreamgirls." If you didn't know, you can check her out at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_Hudson and scroll down to see the about TWENTY awards she has won for her role. Look out Oscars, here Jennifer comes! And she's saying she's not going anywhere ANYTIME soon!

And congratulations also to Eddie Murphy for his outstanding portrayal! The African Americans are doing it BIG ALL OVER!

December 6th, 2006

Yesterday I went to the music store and managed to cop three new albums that came out this week . . I think that's the most CD's I have ever bought in one day . . anyways, I will give my views of the CD's as of now (although my views may change as some albums have to GROW on me at times) . . .

Ciara's The Evolution
I have read many good things online about this LP and I must say that they were right . . I listened while on the treadmill this morning and I am really feeling this album.  She has really evolved which doesn't shock me, considering every up and coming producer WANTS to work with her right about now in my opinion. I'm especially fond of "That's Right" with Lil Jon which is a club banger and made me tread a lil harder on the treadmill.  I also like "Like A Boy" where she banters on about the things guys do and if girls can only be like boys when it comes to the cheating and what not.  I think it's cute for her.  Also, her pictures in the album booklet are AMAZING!  She has TRULY evolved.

Dreamgirls Soundtrack
AS IF I wasn't anticipating this movie ENOUGH (as I'm sure every other person is also) this soundtrack has made me WANT MORE! I must say, Jennifer Hudson is AWESOME on this album. I got goosebumps as I listened to "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going."  I am not shocked though, as she was a favorite for me when she was on American Idol.  She also belts out "I Am Changing" which comes from her SOUL!   If this soundtrack is ANY indication of what her performance in the movie will be like, then I guess Beyonce DOES need to watch out as Jennifer may just be the one to get the Oscar!  I hope she gets a Grammy for one of her songs too.  She TRULY shines!

Gwen Stefani's The Sweet Escape
I really do like Gwen because she dares to be different.  The whole new look and to take a sample of "The Sound of Music" and make it into a club banger--who would have thought!  Overall, her album is great in my opinion, as I expected.  She works with the Neptunes throughout the album and of course, the beats are awesome.  I never did find her VOCALLY talented in comparison to other artists and although many of her songs seem to be enhanced or changed by computers, they make me want to shake my ass!  I'm particularly feeling "The Sweet Escape" and "Orange Country Girl."  I just love how she changes things up and breaks the mold.  Go Gwen!  Oh and "Yummy" stands out to me also.  I TRULY believe it will be a single.

Until next time . . .

November 26th, 2006

My Thanksgiving Weekend 2006

So I know I haven't been here updating as much as I did once before, but this semester in school has been HORRIBLE! I'm just praying that I make it through this semester so please keep me in y'all's prayers! I just came by to share some pics from this past Thanksgiving weekend which I spent with my family. We had a really good time clowning and I learned some new dance moves to show off! Lol. My brother made his beautillion (which is the male's version of a debutante ball, for those who didn't know) and he actually won for king! I'm so happy for him!

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We were just about to leave for Thanksgiving mass

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My youngest Godson is growing SO FAST!

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I have NO IDEA where my Godson learned this from . . he shocked the HELL outta me with this one!

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Although he is so cute, he is the WORST child I have ever seen . . he will curse you out in a QUICK second!

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Helping my bro get GQ

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My bro was GETTING IT with his date!

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My mother was TOO HOT!! Looking all young and stuff!

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Taking a pic with the back-drop

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I love my grandmother to DEATH!

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Taking a photo op with the newly crowned king--MY BROTHER!!

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I love my mother SOOOOO MUCH!!

November 5th, 2006

So this past weekend, I had a BLAST with my best friend who came down to spend some time with me to relieve some stress after my exams last week. I went to the casino, went to the mall and spent TOO MUCH money, went to Southern's Homecoming, went out to a club and got SO DRUNK, and went out to the French Quarter. So, here are a few pics from my joyous time:

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Enjoying my drink in the casino

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In front of the Mississippi River

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Acting silly . . u know how I do!!

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Pondering . . on what, I don't know!

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Enjoying New Orlean's famous beignets

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This shirt is the STORY OF MY LIFE

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Excited about the football game!

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I have NO IDEA how they can make the score IMPROMPTU at halftime!

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Southern showing off their skills

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My best friend and I were FREEZING our butts off

November 2nd, 2006

Oprah's HIV Show

So I know this posting is a lil late but I was studying for these damn exams for school which drove me damn near nuts so I didn't have time until now to post it.

I give KUDOS to Oprah for her show exposing the "new faces" of HIV.  While I DO BELIEVE we have come a LONG way when it comes to being educated about HIV, there are STILL many misinterpretations of HIV, such as it's a "gay disease."  I remember so vividly how when I came "out the closet" to my mother, the ONE AND ONLY concern for her was me not getting HIV.  And that is fine.  BUT she seemed VERY unaware that it is NOT just gay men getting the disease as it's the #1 killer of young black women today.  It is a disgrace that so many women are dying for a disease takes something as simply as a condom to prevent.  What makes it more sad in my opinion is the fact that there are still so many DL guys that are sleeping around and bring back diseases to these women.  Not to say that this is the one and only way the women are getting HIV but I do believe it plays a big role in doing so.  That's why when my mom constantly asked me if I date BOTH women and men, I was like NO because there are enough men doing so now and I think they are trying to have their cake and eat it too.  I TRULY believe there is only one sex that they are attracted to and they should just pick one OR if they DO feel the need to mess around with both sexes, LET THE WOMAN KNOW HER OPTIONS esp. if you are sexually active with her.  It is just so aggravating.

So, when I was on the phone that night with this younger guy I had been getting to know, the HIV issue was brought up and if either one of us would date someone we knew had HIV.  Well, that conversation was the last conversation I had with him.  It was fine for him to be uneducated and immature about the whole HIV idea since he MADE IT CLEAR he would NEVER date anyone with HIV b/c it's a "dead wish" and he could not see himself being with someone with the disease.  BUT when he asked me what I would do and I said YES, I WOULD date someone with HIV if they were very honest with me about the whole ordeal and everything was out on the table and I loved that person dearly.  We would know our limits and know what we can and can't do.  BIG DEAL they have HIV.  Well, this boy goes OFF on me telling me it's like I'm asking to jump off a mountain if I was to date a person with HIV and when he asked me if I had two people--one person with HIV that I loved and one w/o HIV that I LIKED, who would I pick and I said the one I loved, he went CRAZY!  It was enough for me to respect his immature decision but for him to try to go off on me for a decision I chose was just TOO much and I just had to go off on him.  I called him ignorant and uneducated among other things. He had me TOO UPSET and I told him how Oprah's show was for people like him who were very uneducated about the disease.  THE NERVE OF HIM!  Anyways, I think I am done with that for now and let's just say, I have not talked to him since that conversation.  He even had to nerve to tell me that if I was to have HIV, he would still "talk" to me but he wouldn't have "sex" with me.  UGH!!

22 weeks in counting with no sex!  I am too surprised of my stamina!  LOL

October 10th, 2006

A very happy birthday wish

Happy birthday to my bestest friend psykosketch.  Enjoy your day!  Wish I was there to celebrate it with you!!!!!!!

October 2nd, 2006

I've been catching all my season premieres and what not and I just have to vent about a few b/c it is getting on my nerves!

America's Next Top Model
I TOTALLY agree with psykosketch on his LJ about Top Model!  WTF!  There were NO DRAMATIC makeovers AND I'm SO OVER Miss Monique.  If I was in that house, I would have had a fight with her by now.  These girls are being to PASSIVE about how she is controlling things, especially that damn phone!  I am so glad Anchal went to hang it up but WHY DID IT TAKE OVER 2 HOURS!  Ugh!!

I have NO IDEA how this show is gonna work out w/o Toni but it doesn't look so good.  I mean, how can they write her off?  She was SUCH a big character and she amused me!  I guess they will have more time now to focus on Joan's issues with her life .  . since she DOES have TOO many.

Desperate Housewives
Although I HAVE to admit that the story line SO FAR is pretty good, I am STILL mad that after THREE TRIES Gabby still has no damn baby!  I just think a baby will change and mature her SO MUCH.  Or do I want her to mature since I LOVE her evil remarks . . reminds me of some things I'd want to tell peeps at times.  She is hilarious to me!  And WHY is Bree falling in love with these PSYCHOS!  I need her to find a SANE man!

Dancing With the Stars
Vivica looking like a DRAG QUEEN .. nuff said!!

Grey's Anatomy
I'm SO OVER Meredith and her issues with these two men.  I don't think she will EVER choose a damn man.  She gets on my LAST NERVE with this and I hate how they focus on it so much . . I'm so over her.  George keeps me laughing . . love him!  And I hope to see Burke and Christina get married one day . . that would be hot!!

Ugly Betty
If you haven't caught this new show, you HAVE to catch it!  Only watched it since Oprah promoted and we ALL know .  Oprah does no wrong . . lol.  It's pretty interesting and I'd like to see how this girl progresses over the season . . and I must admit .  . they DID achieve in making her ugly!

LOVE LOVE LOVE him!  Look forward to his sly remarks and beautiful blue eyes every week!  

Dateline NBC:  To Catch a Predator
I can't help but watch this show in amazement.  For anyone's who hasn't caught it, they are basically setting up these men for failure by making the men believe they are chatting with a 13 year old girl and the man goes to meet the girl at the house only to get OUTED on national television AND get arrested for pursuing a minor, or whatever the hell they are charged with.  Anyhoo, it is RATHER INTERESTING to hear these men's excuses!  I was TOO THROUGH when they had an older man thinking he was going to meet a 13 year old BOY!  Too much!  Very very interesting.  Can't get enough of it!  My fav. was the man that brought the girl a WEB CAM.  They all look like horny old men!  

Flavor of Love 2
So who do YOU think will win this season?!?  I'm sure everyone wants Deelishish to win if we were to choose a SANE person but if you ask me, Flav and New York are made for one another--BOTH CRAZY AS HELL!  And New York's mother really outdid herself this time around!  Clearly, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!  This bitch is PSYCHO just like her damn daughter.  They really need a damn psychiatrist.  I'm wondering how in the HELL New York's dad deals with both of them!!  Can't wait to see the follow-up to the CLIFFHANGER ending last night.

Well, that's it for now.  And YES I make time to watch these shows . . it's the only thing I get to do besides class, sleep and studying  . . I mean, can't I have a pastime and time to just relax?!?  LOL!

September 26th, 2006

Am I becoming a SaInTs fan?

I have no idea what's going on with me but last night, I sat down and watched the ENTIRE Saints vs. Falcons game.  It's almost like I felt OBLIGATED to watch them since I am in the area.  I would have felt like a disgrace going to class today and not knowing what was going on and what people were talking about.  It's just so weird to me b/c I AM NOT a football fan like AT ALL.  And my plan was NOT to watch the game but I just so happened to put on the TV when the Saints blocked the punt and made their first touchdown and I was like I GOTTA WATCH THIS . . THIS IS TOO MUCH ACTION knowing damn well my ass needed to be studying.  Oh well.  I did feel bad afterwards but I must admit, it was a pretty good game and I'm proud of the Saints.  It's almost like there was a positive aura all over the city last night . . like it was a different place.

It's sad that it took a hurriance for me to become a fan but hey, better late than never huh?  I am sure there were MANY people that have become fans just recently also so I don't think I should feel TOO weird.  GO SAINTS!  lol

September 25th, 2006

Here are some pics from my 5 year high school class reunion (YEAH I'M SO OLD!) and some of my favortie peeps.

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My lil baby . . He's 4 months old now!

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Ain't he cute

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My OTHER baby . . ain't she sexy?

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Two of my MOST FAVORITE people from high school . . my bio teacher and my officer buddy . . me and this girl was President and Vice President of like EVERY club in high school

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My cousin Travis who I COULD NOT stand in high school . . but it seems like he's matured a WHOLE LOT so I think that'll mend some wounds and allow us to get closer . . we'll see how it goes!

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This girl looks SO DIFFERENT from high school . . she was a red-head in high school and is now a BLONDE . . she was waving at me when she walked into the reunion and I DID NOT speak back b/c I didn't recognize her! She's a SEXY MOMMA NOW

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This woman called me Dr. Jay from the FIRST DAY I had her teach me even BEFORE I told her I wanted to be a doctor. . .she is one of the BEST teachers ever . GENIUNELY cares about her students . . and so very proud of me!

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Jamie, Travis and I just chillin

September 21st, 2006

Fill this out everybody!!

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:


1. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you?

September 16th, 2006

I know it has been FOREVER since I came here and updated my journal but HERE I AM! It's just that school has been driving me CRAZY and I just could not find the time. So I'll try to update on all the pertinent things that have occurred although I know I might miss some things. I don't know how to "hot link" stuff, so I'll just categorize stuff and read what you find most interesting!!

Well, been in school almost 2 months now and just had my first set of exams this past Monday and Tuesday. This year started out pretty differently for me b/c for some reason, I DID NOT have a problem with studying. It's like I know how much I need to study now and I actually enjoyed studying this year. The ONLY time I had trouble concentrating were the days before the exams b/c I just wanted it to be over and I was fed up. I have had to brush my friends off SO MUCH and was not able to do MANY things with them b/c of how much I was studying.  The worst thing happened though b/c when I got one of my grades back, I was SO DISAPPOINTED in my grade.  It's just that I thought back to just how much I was studying and how much I sacrified and my grade DID NOT reflect all the sacrifices I made.  It was VERY DISCOURAGING but now I know that I just have to study harder and can only try to do better on the next exam.  What's done is did.

I have only gotten closer to my medical school friends and every moment we have, we spend time together.  I know FOR SURE I will stay friends with these people forever.  We are SO DIFFERENT but have the same drive of being doctors.  I love it.  We of course CUT UP the night after our exams.  We ate at Chili's and went to this club that had like 5 people inside there but we danced our ASSES off for like 3 hours.  All I needed was a drink and it was OVER.  I was full of energy.  Only thing is I woke up with a hang over the next morning.  The first time I remember having one too, lol.

I haven't seen much of my family lately since I have not been home in a good minute.  And what made me REALLY realize how long it's been was my Godchild calling me and telling me he missed me!! I almost cried b/c he NEVER told me anything like that.  I will be home next weekend though b/c I have a 5 year high school reunion to attend.  Gotta show these people how I'm still fine, lol.  My mother is actually her at my apt. as we speak and we had a pretty good day. I brought her to the French Quarter and a few malls and Jackson Square and Cafe Du Monde to get beignets.  It was really nice.

So there are LOTS of CD's that have come out lately that I have just HAD to get and a few reality shows I have just gotten attached to.  Here are my reviews:

Christina Aguilera's Back to BasicsIt is amazing that someone in the 21st century went back to the 20's as her inspiration and the album turned out SO GREAT.  My absolute favorite song is HURT which just emphasizes how great of a singer she is.  I admire her for being different and am so very happy for her.

Danity Kane's Danity Kane:  I watched Making Da Band and heard a few songs I thought I would like and have fallen in love with Dawn, who happens to be from New Orleans, so went to get their album and I must say IT IS SUPERB!!  There are SO MANY songs I love with my absolute fav. being SLEEP ON IT which is the hidden track.  These girls have potential and I wish them the best.

Beyonce's B'Day:  So I am sure that just about EVERYONE has this album and I am mad at the number of tracks on it first of all.  If you recorded 22 songs in 2 weeks, why not put at least 15 songs on dat bitch?  I must say though I am in love with IRREPLACEABLE.  Absolutely marvelous. I personally believe Beyonce is so much better at singing ballads so do believe Dangerously In Love was a little better but it's cute for her to expand her horizons.

Flavor of Love 2:  I JUST STARTED catching this when New York came back and I have gotten attached again!  I can't wait to see where things will lead and have a pretty good feeling that New York will when this season. If she doesn't, someone might as well get ready to admit her to a crazy house.

Big Brother: All Stars: It seems like everyone I was rooting for was getting voted off.  First was Marcellas, then Danielle, then Chicken George. I finally ended up with Janelle, who I absolutely HATED in the beginning but it got to a point where her strength in the game was very obvious and I was like she deserves to win. Nevertheless, it ended up being boring and I am too upset that a person who owns 6 restaurants wins $500,000.  Dats bull shit.

So this is the aspect that has changed THE MOST.  Ded and I are not talking like we were in the past.  I got SO TIRED of running and running after him so I simply called things off.  I felt like I was getting hurt more than anything by not having anything with him and wanting something so badly so I called him one day and told him he could stop calling me.  We didn't talk for like a week and he called a week later telling me all the things he was going through and how he was not happy and I realized something--He SO did me a favor by not falling for me and wanting to be with me b/c he had TOO many issues and a relationship would just make things worse.  He needed to just focus on his issues and not worry about relationships and what not.  So from then on, we stopped talking and seeing each other as much and the only time we talk now is when he calls me.  And whats SO WEIRD is that he seems to be coming around now but my perspective of things have changed SO MUCH that I don't even want him like that anymore.  I speak to him to be cordial and talk about what's going on with us but I don't even like him "like dat" anymore.  He sends me texts saying how he is thinking about me and even told me once how he wished I was his first b/f--that way, he wouldn't be so bitter and he knows things would be great between us.  WTF!  You mean to tell me that when I stop showing interest in you, you start showing interest in me?  I'm so WHATEVER about him now though.

Now as far as Mister Trey.  I thought he was such a good person for he was the only nigga dat ALWAYS followed through on when he said he would do something and never led me astray.  Well, things have TOTALLY changed.  This negro decides to call me TWO WEEKS after an incidence where he didn't show up when he said he would to explain things to me.  If he only knew, once he didn't show up and let me know what was up, it was OVER for him.  I just could not believe the nerves of him!

So, these two negroes have led me to a new stage in my life--THE NEW HAPPY AND SINGLE LIFE.  At this point in my life, I am SO VERY happy AND single.  I can't say there was ever a time before when I had BOTH of those things occur at the same time. I usually want love SO BADLY and always run after it to be left upset.  But now . . I have realized that all relationships bring is DRAMA and that's something I DO NOT need right now.  Besides, I have MORE THAN ENOUGH with school to keep me busy and I think that's why I love studying so much more now b/c it keeps me from even thinking about those lonely moments I get and what not.  I am just so proud to say I am happy with being single.  I think that I have had so much healing to go through since Quan and have morphed into a new Jeremy.  

Speaking of Quan, so I started chatting with him again on Yahoo Messenger.  He kept on sending me messages and after a while, I was like, fuck it.  Let me see what he has to say.  At first it was hard, but now, it is a whole lot easier since I have turned into this new ME.  He has a new lil b/f and he is SO HAPPY and does things with this boy that he NEVER done with me.  It is actually his second b/f since we broke up with seems pretty crazy to me but whatever.  I just think he can never be single.  That's not the way he rolls. He even had to audacity to tell me that I NEED to look for someone and shouldn't be single as if a person NEEDS a relationship to survive.  BULLSHIT. I mean, it's NICE to have but NOT a neccessity.  He has even showed me pics of these new little boyfriends and not to sound vain, but I think I look better. He definitely went down the totem pole with these.  The first one was just plain UGLY and although the second one looks better, he is PRETTY OVERWEIGHT.  Whatever.

Speaking about weight--I am sure some of you may remember me talking about the ethics of getting liposuction since I SO want to have a flat stomach and have worked so hard for nothing but LOW AND BEHOLD I started a rigorous workout regimen and diet regiment on AUGUST 1st and am proud to say that I have lost 10 lbs. since!  I am so happy and have seen DRASTIC changes in my body.  I CAN'T WAIT to have the abs I have always wanted and KNOW I will get them this time b/c I am making NO EXCUSES and sticking to things.  Trust me .  . I WILL post pics of when I reach that stage.  I have taken pre pics and will take post pics to show the transformation.  All my friends think I am getting TOO skinny but I just have  a small body build and I have to lose the weight for the abs to show!  

So I think that is about everything that has transpired--or the important things anyways. Until next time . . .

August 16th, 2006


I know it's been a minute. I just came to post some pics I took in the past couple weeks from my white coat ceremony, moving me one step closer to being a Dr.! I also attended the Mariah Carey concert in Atlanta, GA! I have the time of my life! Check them out:

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I was excited I have my white coat!

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The fam

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Momma made me laugh

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Getting my model on

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The crew

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Right before the concert

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Don't I look excited

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Me, Ash, and Veronica down the street from the arena

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Sean Paul tryna get it

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Their outfits were HOT

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Getting our dance on

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Mariah and Trey

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Mimi looking all young

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Hitting her note

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Isn't she BEAUTIFUL!

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We went out afterwards to get our DANCE AND DRINK ON!

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Yeah, I was drunk

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Ash getting her pose on

So, I'll be back soon to update on what has been going on. . .school has been keeping me SO BUSY and time is flying by already. LOTS of things have transpired since the last time I was on here. Until next time . . .

July 12th, 2006

I feel like I'm in HELL!

Since I have been out of school, I basically have not had many days to just sit around and do nothing.  I chose to do a research program this summer and I chose to do so for several reasons:

1.  It will enhance my application when I go to a residency program as it will show my tenacity for hard work.
2.  It pays.
3.  I did not want to have to go home and live with my mother for 2 months and since IT PAYS I would be able to move back into my apt. on my own back in New Orleans.
4.  It pays.
5.  It would be a good way to get settled in my place and meet some good networks.
6.  IT PAYS.

So although there were several reasons I did so, I have been in HELL for the past few weeks working in this lab.  And it is not so much as the research I am dealing with b/c I am actually enjoying dealing with rats and what not.  IT'S THE PEOPLE!  There are a total of 8 people that work in this lab and I can only tolerate ONE.  They all have issues and just IRK MY NERVES!!  I DREAD coming to work each day for that reason.  And then to think of the fact that I have to deal with them for 8-10 hours a day is just depressing.  It is like, I do not want to go back to school anytime soon b/c my life will be swamped with my studies but the way I feel right now, I'm like to hell with it.  As soon as I stop this program, I start school.  It's like the lesser of two evils.  Would I rather be miserable dealing with people I HATE being in the presence of or would I rather be miserable having to read and read and study and study more on a daily basis?  I just feel like I am in between two walls right now and I don't know which way to turn.  I have officially started a count down until I finish my work in this lab.  

One girl talks to much . . . another guy talks about money all the time . . another one is frantic as hell and is always fucking up experiments for no good reason . . another just stares at you while you are struggling with something he could very well be helping you with.  I just don't get it.  I am just TOO THROUGH right about now.  I had to get this off my chest.  I'm still mad though DAMMIT!  

Oh and something else very interesting that just took place--so for some ODD reason that I cannot understand, my dad is broke--like literallly broke with no money to his name.  I don't understand this b/c he works at the damn Post Office where they make HELLA money.  Anyways, my mother called me yesterday telling me how my dad called her crying b/c he hadn't eaten in two days, he doesn't hardly have any money to put gas in his car to go to work and his lights are about the get turned off.  WTF!!  My parents are two of the worst people when it comes to BUDGETING!  My rent is twice my dad's rent and I manage.  I am just perplexed and aggravated and mad.  But, when it all boiled down to it, I know if I was in a bind and I called him, he would help me out so I put a check in the mail today for $75 to help him out.  It's about all I could manage to spare right about now but I knew giving him SOMETHING would be the only "Christian" thing to do.  Until next time . . .

July 10th, 2006

So, I have been working on getting abs and getting rid of this fatty layer around my abdominal area for a LONG time now and although it is the smallest now that it has ever been, I can NEVER get it where I want to get it. I know my main problem is that I don't diet alongside exercising but it is so hard for me to change my diet!!  So my best friend and I had a conversation about plastic surgery and how we are both wanting it.  So, would it be wrong for me to get plastic surgery to take away this fatty layer?  Just a lil liposuction?  And being an aspiring doctor, I have watched all the shows with the dangers of doing it and although I am hesitant about it, I STILL WANT IT.

Although if I do decide to do it, it will be a while before I do so since I am a broke med student now, I want to have it in the back of my mind "just in case."  So what do you all think about it? Do you think plastic surgery is too superficial and a waste of money?
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